I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Less talking, more tequila
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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