Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
