Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
