im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
