all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
