my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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