just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
