Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
