cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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