I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
