Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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