I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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