she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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