Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
