The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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