guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
