it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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