i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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