i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize