So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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