If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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