I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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