We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
