there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
