I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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