someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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