Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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