Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
