Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize