she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
