I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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