i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we're making bets on your personal life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
