Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
