If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
