You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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