i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
