This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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