____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I need water and some morals
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