And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
