you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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