The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drunk is not a location!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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