and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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