weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
