I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
