I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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