McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
