..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My feet surprised me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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