I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
