so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
