Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
