I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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