i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
North Korea, Best Korea!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
