So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
