But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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