My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
