I think my vagina is haunted
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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