dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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