We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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