im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
