we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
