My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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