My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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