Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
